MY RAPE PLIGHT

Having to see how innocent he was staring at me, my mind was relaxed that He cared.

I was his little princess so he said…

“Eat my darling” he always instructed.

There I was eating my piece meant for the night. For some nights were always hot, be it rainy season or harmattan, sometimes I had to run from my sleeping space in fear, but nowhere was safe…

Angels they were, all standing at the four coordinates of the house and earth at large….

“Remember Lucifer was an angel too”

“Who will believe my story?” The fear of it alone sealed my lips with a permanent spell.

I said “I will tell your wife and children of what you’ve been doing to me in the night” I meant those words I threatened him with, but then I couldn’t see any response in his face neither did I hear his voice speak.

Those periods after my threats became the best nights I had, or so I thought for it only lasted for some days…

Slashes of cane woke me up amidst my peaceful recoveries in the world of fairy tales.

My tears brought back the reality of the threat, indeed Nothing last forever…

“Thief, thief, thief” those were the word I could decode from the numerous murmurings of allegations made against me…

Even in the midst of the pains, I smiled because I sighted my mum, I knew she would believe me, I was her blood after all and as a mother she will be able to tell if her child was lying or not through our eyes… so I had thought…

“My child why did you do this?”

I wasn’t broken because of those words but because in her eyes there was bitterness & regret, regret that I wasn’t flushed out to ease her the pains of a single mother.

That night I was punished for a crime I didn’t commit. And I accepted my fate…

No one can know the minds of men….

That was my uncle’s strategy to break everyone’s trust for me…

Few months passed and I was accused by young and old alike and during this few months my day became shorter and night longer as I could barely sleep. Fear became my companion.

So in one of the night He came again, this time, there was no mercy…

My mouth was shut, my eyes was made swollen due to the heavy downpour, not only did the cloud in my heart release the rain but it gave a mighty lightning accompanied with a loud thunder.

“It’s hurting” my thigh allowed my blossom that has been butchered by this beast to cry out blood and water.

That day I didn’t know what I had lost but I knew I wasn’t the same anymore…

I suppose not only did I lose my pride but my security and my voice left me too.

Mama wasn’t there, even though she was, she wouldn’t have believed me this time… no one would… 

All through I just wanted to go away, but there wasn’t a place I could go without this baggage of experience still stuck to me like a scar on my skin… And till this day I have carried this burden on me for as long as time can tell…

Tell me would you have believed me if I had told you this was what an uncle did to a 7 years old girl who was tagged to be a snitch & a Liar?

Would you have spared her your love and a listening ear?

What do you think I would have done?

For this isn’t just a story but MY STORY…
– udofia happyne