By Eniola Olaosebikan
No doubt, many of us want to marry early, have kids, get a great job, and generally do a lot of things early so we can settle down to enjoy the later part of our lives with utmost fulfillment. Trouble starts when early becomes late, and we begin to worry about what is going on, thinking something somewhere is not right with us.
For whatever reasons, we look to our friends who have the things we desire and consider them lucky, while considering ourselves out of luck. Would it shock us to realize that sometimes, those friends we look upon as lucky also think us lucky? Why? Because we happen to have things they desire, but they do not have yet.
That’s because neither party is adequately familiar with the other person’s life. People see our lives and see our roses blooming. We look at other people’s lives and see their grasses green as well. Anything viewed from an aerial view always appears perfect until the lens is brought close. We realize that between the roses are thorns, and between the grasses that appeared so green are dry and withered ones.
One thing I have realized over time is that until we get to the place of acceptance with the life we live, we will never be satisfied with anything we have. Until we drop all the regrets and comparisons, we will always be forced to believe that there could be more. While it’s okay to expect more, it is frustrating to dwell on what our past could have given us.
Sometimes, expecting more from our past can come from the disillusion of a perfect life. We think if we had taken all the paths that we regret not taking, our present could have been perfect – no trouble, no woe. But a human being can never have a perfect life. Even Jesus, in all his glory, had his own fair share of human trouble. He was betrayed, hated, and so on. Other biblical characters like Job and David also talked about how the days of man are never free of troubles.
If you had taken the route you currently regret not taking, it could have landed you in another place or opened other opportunities for you. Still, it would have had its own fair share of trials. We need to live a life of gratitude. If only the people that desire your life can become you, they would drop you back in a matter of hours. Knowing the thorns in your assumed rosy life would make them embrace back the dryness in their own field – a field you had earlier assumed was all green. As a matter of fact, they would hold you in high regard for the things you had to endure.
A life of gratitude finds peace within itself and envies no one. With gratitude comes the openness for the new things we desire. Control the things you can, and leave those you can’t control to time and chance – which happens to us all, after all.